If Our Love is Tragedy, Why Are You My Remedy?
by princessjasmine12
Summary: One shot continuation of 4x11! What happened when Aria came to Ezra's apartment after the dance! Read and Review!


**I was bored and wanted to write something. This is what I came up with. Hopefully it isn't terrible!**

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"You didn't have to come," I walked further into my apartment, avoiding Aria's eyes. I purposely refrained from looking towards the refrigerator so I wouldn't have to see the special drawings Malcolm had made for the man who he thought was his Dad.

"I wanted to," Aria replied, as she followed closely behind me, an uneasy look in her eyes.

"Is Jake out there? Waiting for you?" I asked, my voice slightly shaking. I couldn't help the jealousy laced throughout my voice. It was no use trying to hide it. She knew I was still in love with her.

"No, he dropped me at home, I came by myself." She said, waiting for me to reveal the reason why I needed her.

"What happened with Malcolm?" She asked, when I made no move to speak any more.

I took a deep breath as I tried to prepare myself to tell her the words that were still haunting me.

"Um…" I began, as I sat down on the couch, unsure of what words to say. "It's a… It's a mess, Aria." For being an English teacher, I was a bit ashamed of myself for the choice of words I had used. However, realistically, no other word described the situation better. "And I'd really rather not… drag you into it."

She took a deep breath before sitting down beside me on the couch.

"I'm not leaving, Ezra." The look in her eyes was genuine. Even though we were broken up, I knew that deep down she still cared about me. How could she not? Our love was a once in a lifetime kind of love.

To my surprise, she took my hands in hers. I had been missing the feeling of her soft skin against mine for so long.

"So you might as well talk to me." She said softly.

I took another deep breath before biting my lip uneasily. What was I supposed to say? Where was I supposed to begin?

I held her hand tightly in mine; not willing to ever let her go.

What was I allowed to tell her, what information went against the "student-teacher" façade we were playing?

How was I supposed to pretend that Aria meant nothing to me? That she was just another student in my senior English class? How was I supposed to pretend that I wasn't deeply and madly in love with her?

It broke my heart to see her dancing with Jake earlier. She looked genuinely happy. For a long time, I thought that I was the only one who could make her smile that way.

Was I nothing? Did I mean nothing to her? Was it foolish of me to ask her here? To tell her this? To burden her with my problems?

Our love was so strong, yet it didn't work out. We fell apart. Harder than I'd ever thought we would. I thought we were forever. I was so wrong.

"Ezra…" Aria said softly, as she saw the moisture gathering up in my eyes at the thought of the love we once had.

I finally looked at her, unable to stay strong anymore. I couldn't do it. I just couldn't do this anymore.

For the first time in a very long time, Aria was comforting me, instead of the other way around.

"Malcolm…" I began, my voice hitching in my throat at the thought of the boy I had fallen in love with. The boy who was ripped out of my life as quickly as he was dropped into it.

A look of worry appeared on Aria's face, at the sound of my voice. How could it not? As much as Malcolm had been a strain on our relationship, I knew that Aria had enjoyed having his company. She had begun to care for him, in a 'my boyfriend has a son and I'd better get used to him soon' kind of way.

"Maggie…" I tried again, but the words I wanted to say got caught in my throat.

How could I do this to her? She didn't deserve to be burdened with my problems. I was so much older than her, and our lives were at completely different places. She didn't deserve to have to deal with my screwed up life.

"Ezra, please." Aria said, not bothering to hide her distraught at my fragile state. "Just tell me."

I wanted to tell her, I wanted to so badly. I just didn't know how.

As I tried to fight back tears, I finally gathered up the courage to say the reason for why I was so broken.

"Malcolm isn't mine." I said, as my voice broke. The tears that had built up in my eyes, fell down my cheeks. I didn't bother wiping them away, as I allowed myself to cry in front of Aria for the second time in our relationship.

I had hoped that it would be easier to tell Aria, now that I had had some time to process and force myself to deal with the information. Unfortunately, it was just as hard to tell her as the moment I had found out.

"He's not my son, Aria." I whispered. "Maggie lied." I put my head in my hands, embarrassed that I was allowing Aria to see me in such a vulnerable state.

"Ezra…" Aria said, with sadness laced deeply throughout her voice.

I looked up from my hands to see Aria watching me, tears beginning to form in her own eyes as well.

I knew she hated seeing me like this.

"I just don't…" I began, before the anger inside of me began to leak through. "How could she do that to me? She knew I lost you so I could have Malcolm in my life. She knew that it drove us apart, and she just watched it happen without a care in the world. She watched me fall in love with him, knowing that the whole situation was a big freaking lie." I spat angrily.

I couldn't keep this to myself anymore. I couldn't keep up the façade that this wasn't breaking me to pieces. That my whole life wasn't crumbling before my eyes.

"She brought a little boy into my life," I said, as I got up from the couch and began pacing back and forth in an attempt to control my emotions. "And she made me believe that he was my son! I changed my whole life for her. I broke up with you because of her!"

Aria face displayed complete and utter shock. She shook her head in disbelief, unable to comprehend what Maggie had done.

I tried so hard to steady my breathing as tears fell quickly from my eyes.

I had lost everything. I had lost Malcolm. I had lost Aria. And most importantly, I had lost myself.

"I'm so sorry Ezra." Aria said quietly, as she got up from the couch and walked up to me. "You know you didn't do anything wrong, right? You don't deserve this. You don't deserve this at all."

Aria moved a lock of hair out of my eyes and rested her palm on my cheek.

It felt like old times, comforting each other before a kiss.

But this time, there would be no kiss. We were broken up. She was with Jake.

I couldn't help myself as I moved just a tiny bit closer to her, waiting for her reaction. She skipped a breath as her eyes bore into mine. A moment later, however, she dropped her hand from my cheek and backed away, sitting back down onto the couch.

I tried to hide my disappointment at her actions as I sat back down beside her and rested my head in my hands.

I had had enough. Aria was right. This was too hard.

We had fought for over a year for our love. I had given up everything for this woman. And in the end, it wasn't meant to be. It couldn't be meant to be. There were just too many obstacles in front of us.

In a way, it was still so hard for me to believe that I was her teacher again. It was just as hard to stand in front of her class to teach her about Hemingway, now, as it was to stand in front of her class when we had first met as I taught Fitzgerald to this woman while trying to figure out my feelings for her at the same time.

How could we have let our relationship come to this? We had loved each other. We _love _each other.

"I'm sorry." I murmured.

"For what?" She asked curiously.

"Not fighting harder for you." I said, as tears began forming in my eyes once again.

I leaned my head back and closed my eyes.

We were over. I needed to accept that. I still loved her, but she had done exactly what I'd told her was best to do. She had moved on.

I tried not to think about how close her body was to mine or the way her hand had felt on my cheek moments ago. I wanted so badly to just take her in my arms and never let her go. I wanted to fall in love with her all over again. But I couldn't. I had let her go.

"How did you find out?" Aria asked, breaking the silence between us.

"Um…" I began reluctantly, not wanting to repeat the spark that caused me to find out about Maggie's lie. "Maggie was going to take him away from me. So… I took a paternity test, as the first step of creating a case against what she was trying to do. And then..." I trailed off, knowing Aria could fill in the blanks on her own.

"I can't… I don't believe this. How could someone have the audacity to do something so cruel?" Aria asked in disgust.

"Why don't you go ask Maggie, since it was so easy for her to do." I muttered.

"That's disgusting. I love you, but your past is screwed up. First Jackie, then your mother, and now Maggie? You need to stop involving yourself with such messed up people." Aria stated, shaking her head at me.

I furrowed my brow at her for a moment, repeating her words in my head. She had said she loved me. She did still love me. I knew she still loved me.

A look of fear crossed Aria's face as she realized where she had gone wrong.

"I-I'm sorry, Ezra. I shouldn't have said that." She quickly got up from the couch and looked around the apartment nervously. "I-I'd better go."

"Aria, wait." I grabbed her hand to stop her, before I lost the girl who meant the world to me, once again.

"Why didn't you answer my call?" Disappointment clung to my voice as I asked the one question that was burning inside of me.

"It was too hard." Aria whispered brokenly. "I'm trying to move on from you, and I didn't know what was going to happen if I'd answered your call. I couldn't understand why you would be calling me in the first place. I was afraid that answering would have just made it harder to move on." She looked down at her hand in mine for a moment. "And God knows it's already hard enough."

"I needed you." I whispered brokenly, unable to comprehend the fact that in the moment I needed Aria the most, she wasn't there for me.

"I know, now I know. I'm so sorry, Ezra." The look in her eyes was genuine.

What we were supposed to do at this point? What had our relationship come to?

"Aria, I wish I could move on, because I know that that's what's best for us." Ezra said softly. "But I can't… I don't know how to not love you." I confessed. "You're all I ever think about. What we once had. And I hate myself so much for ever letting you go."

Aria's eyes fell to the floor as she breathed in deeply.

"I know." She whispered.

"Do you love him?" I couldn't stop myself from asking.

"I really, really like him." To my dismay, she was obviously telling the truth, because as she spoke, a slight blush appeared on her cheeks. "It's… _easy _being with Jake. I don't have to worry about what other people will think of us, I can be seen in public with him without getting nasty glances, I can show him off to the world, and I don't have anything to hide about my relationship anymore." She said, with a small smile on her face.

It crushed my heart to hear those words come out of her mouth. She was falling in love with him. And if I hadn't pushed her away, she would still be in love with me. It was all my fault. I had lost the girl who meant the world to me.

"But… He'll never be you." She finished softly, looking up at me through her long lashes. "No one… Will ever compare to being in a relationship with you, Ezra."

We looked at each other for a long time, as a silence rose between us. She had basically confessed that she wished she were still with me, yet at the same time, she wanted to be with Jake. She knew that what we had was real, was perfect, and was true love, yet it was too hard. It was just too hard.

"I'd better go." Aria made a move to get up from the couch, but I grabbed her hand before she could go.

"Do you want to just stay here?" I asked, falteringly.

She hesitated for a moment, obviously unsure of what to do.

"I'm sorry." I said in defeat. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. You took the time out of your night to come over here, and I have no place to ask you-" I rattled, before Aria stopped me.

"Of course I'll stay." She smiled softly at me.

For a moment, it felt as if we were back to the Aria and Ezra we used to be. For a moment, there seemed to be a small ray of hope guiding our love back together.

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**I don't quite know how that went, but let me know what you think! Also, make sure you check out my other story, The Last Tear! Review please! **


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